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On the passing of a good and loyal friend

Updated: Dec 26, 2020


I struggled for a while about whether I should write this short post, but I think it's relevant.


On Sunday 26th July, our wonderful companion of 18½ years, Scruffy our Parson Jack Russell terrier had to be put to sleep. Oh how we miss him. Scruffy had an epileptic fit and a stroke (the last and worst of many over the last few months) on Sunday afternoon and was in a terrible state. I didn't know what to do (although a few years ago I'd have acted more decisively). I phoned Pam, and told her what had happened through floods of tears and she came straight home and took us to the emergency Vet. I think we both knew that we would be saying goodbye to Scruffy, and I think he knew it too. He was quite content in my arms - though he was usually stressed when travelling by car. The upshot is that the Vet told us that there was nothing they could do for Scruffy, and that it would be best to relieve his suffering. Pam took him from me and went with the Vet, where she held him until he went to sleep and embarked on his final journey. How we miss him.


The bereavement of losing a pet is very real, and nothing really prepares you for it, but I believe that, in a strange way, my dementia has helped. I am single-minded now, and somehow my short term memory loss seems to allow me to function without thinking of dear old Scruffy too often. I don't worry about making sure that he has enough food and water, that the back door is open so that he can visit the garden or the hundred and one different things that used to occupy me - they just don't occur to me. Once in a while though, I suddenly realise that Scruffy isn't there, and I cry. I can't help it. I know he is in a better place, and that I am just being selfish, but he shared his life with me and I am so glad to have had his friendship and unqualified love and loyalty. Farwell Scruffy. You have left a hole in our hearts that can never be filled.

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chrisphartley
chrisphartley
Aug 22, 2020

So very sorry to hear this, Pete. Your beautiful Scruffy had such a long and happy life and was obviously so well loved, bless him. I hope that you can look back and smile at all the wonderful memories you have of him and know that you gave him the best life possible.

RIP dear Scruffy x

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Peter Middleton
Peter Middleton
Aug 19, 2020

You are absolutely right Lorraine. I do think about Scruffy a lot - of course I do. But as you say, the last days with him not so much. I reckon he started to slip away from us some time ago. Thinking about it, he was somethat distant for the last few weeks we were together. He's in a better place now, and I'm glad for him, and glad too that I was able to enjoy his company for so long.

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hi, I'm so sorry for your loss. i know what it's like to loose a much loved pet. I think your are right to say that this is one of those times and situations that dementia can make things a bit easier. I lost jimjim on boxing day last year and was distraught at the time but i have such good memories of him from years ago when we were both much younger but those last painful days before he went to sleep are very much dimmed. the downside is that i do at times from out of nowhere think i can hear him coming in and for a few seconds it is though he's there again. That you h…

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Peter Middleton
Peter Middleton
Aug 19, 2020

Thanks Rosie. We were very lucky to have had Scruffy's company for so long. We'll never forget him, and could never replace him.

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Rosie Flaxman
Rosie Flaxman
Aug 19, 2020

Hello, I am so sorry for your loss of your dear Scruffy. It's so sad to lose a family pet especially after all your time together. Console yourself that you gave Scruffy a great and long life - what an amazing age for a small dog - and he is no longer in any pain. Love his name! Scruffy dogs are my favourites.

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